Handling Anger, Fear, Terror and Rage

THE WOLVES WITHIN

An old grandfather said to his grandson who came in to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story"

"I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do; but hate wears you down and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking a poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But...the other wolf... Ah!

The littlest thing will send him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all of the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing."

"Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The grandfather smiled and quietly said, "The one I feed."

From Mike:

Extreme forms of emotion are often immobilizing, limiting and dangerous to one's health and well being.

Try the following copyrighted breathing exercise to reduce or eliminate fear, anger and rage responses.

Notice I said responses not feelings. You can still feel them but the difference is what you do about and with them. You can have your emotions without your emotions having you.

I call this copyrighted breathing exercise

The Lengthened Instantaneous Forced Exhale or LIFE.
© 2001 Michael Grant White. Breathing.com
All rights reserved.

It just might save someone's life, including your own.

1. For Road rage and other forms of anger where you do not have practical access to the use of your hands.

For rage you will need to practice it a few times now and again, BEFORE you really need to use it, and then use it whenever you are getting angrier then you would like to be.

Fear and anger can develop into extreme anger and rage because anger is largely supported by an underlying sense of fear. The way we breathe either lessens or worsens the emotional/fear response.

INSTRUCTION

Right now, or whenever fear or anger occur, IMMEDIATELY force an exhale. Do not "gear up" by taking an in-breath...force an exhale NOW.

Continue the exhale until you cannot exhale any more air and then let a deep effortless in-breath come in..

Repeat please.

Right now, or whenever fear or anger occur, IMMEDIATELY force an exhale. Do not "gear up" by taking an in-breath...force an exhale NOW.

Continue the exhale until you cannot exhale any more air and then let a deep effortless in-breath come in.

Repeat again please.

Right now, or whenever fear or anger occur, IMMEDIATELY force an exhale. Do not "gear up" by taking an in-breath...force an exhale NOW.

Continue the exhale until you cannot exhale any more air and then let a deep effortless in-breath come in.

Practice this a few more times until the next time someone or something startles you, and you have a sense of control of your response that you did not have before. The more you use it the quicker and better you become at neutralizing fear, anger, panic and many severe forms of anxiety.

Also, the effortless in-breath can be somewhat or extremely relaxing, taking the ":edge" or severity of the situation.

This creative state also allows for more rational constructive approaches that do not escalate the situation beyond necessity and reason. What works for me sometime is to focus on the word "kindness". Love may not be an option for me at the moment so I try "kindness". If nothing else, the kindness is being physically experienced by myself and that is soothing to my state of being. Perhaps the "next time" I will think differently about the incident, and others like it.

Try this copyrighted breathing exercise for when you have more time and can use your arms and hands. I call it

The Squeeze and Breathe or SAB
© 2001 Michael Grant White. Breathing.com
All rights reserved.

Firstly see the lungs below and notice how they are mostly in the sides and back and not very much on the front.

From Dr. Eddie Erlandson, Thoraccic Surgeon and core faculty member of the Center for Professional Breathing and Movement.

"Certainly in the midline and to the left the heart and pericardium fill the space and the pleura and lung are more lateral. Posterior the lungs extend nearly to the midline. With lung expansion the space of the pericardium and heart is well maintained with expansion posterior, laterally and inferiorly."

2. For breathing that is centering and calmly energizing.

Supported by a small round pillow as above or a NADA Chair from Relax the Back Stores Nationwide, Sit out near the edge of a fairly hard surfaced chair, stool or arm of a couch with feet flat on the floor, or stand. Both of these positions need an erect but not so stiff posture. Be "tallest" with your chin slightly above the horizon. If you stand, bend your knees slightly so as to unlock them.

Let your tongue lightly touch the roof or your mouth and your jaw relax. Relax your belly. Let it hang down. Resist the fear of having a "pot belly" and not having "washboard abs".

Place your thumbs over your kidneys (below your back ribs and above your pelvis). Wrap your fingers around your sides. Squeeze gently as you nose breathe long slow deep breaths into your squeezed fingers and thumbs. Try and match the breathing cycle of the animated logo at the top of this page for a timing reference. In any event, make sure the exhale is twice as long as the inhale. It may work better for you to use silent number counting (one thousand one, one thousand two, etc.) to gauge that, again just make sure the exhale is twice as long or even more than twice as long as the inhale..

Now, using the animation or a number count or both, take 10 complete in and out breaths, making sure to squeeze and breathe simultaneously.

Did that feel good? Try bringing your shoulders back about two to three inches as you breathe in. Was it easier to breathe? Do it THAT way then.

Repeat 5-10 10-second breathing cycles with a few seconds rest in between or for as long as it feels good.

There are better exercises for increasing energy but you may get real energized from this one. Dizziness, spaceyness or otherwise confusion means you should stop and continue your day or stop and recommence in a minute or two after the energy has subsided or integrated within you.

Repeat it several times daily as well.

There are even better ways of addressing anger but they need video and audio support Rapid Breathing Development

If the above helped you get or stay calm even just a little bit there are many other fast and simple ways of addressing fear anger and rage and they are included in our video/audio program at.